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Me Time

July 28, 2008

As a MilWife, you learn very quickly that you must love yourself because you’re going to be the only company you have for long periods of time.  This past weekend, The Husband was either flying or working so I had the whole weekend to myself… sort of.  On Saturday morning I woke to drive to the city and visit my childhood Farmer’s Market.  I spent the 35 minute drive listening to Ottmar Liebert with my sunroof open and not a care in the world.  Once downtown, I was met with a frantic woman driving the wrong way on a one way street.  Had I not just come sailing off the highway like a stone from a slingshot I would have corrected her extended middle finger by pointing out that it was certainly not my fault that I almost hit her head on. 

I had a list in hand for my favorite herb joint and had planned to just park in front of the store and walk down to the market.  It was a gorgeous 97 degrees out, sunny and sticky but oh so beautiful.  The only problem?  There had to be at least 20,000 people at the market that day.  I was approached by a group of Muslims trying to hand me a free copy of the Qur’an.  They turned away politely when they saw what I was wearing.  I swear, I didn’t say anything to them or even look at them funny.  Well, if I looked at them funny it was because I was more confused by the fact that they were at The City Market not to sell tomatoes, but handing out free Qur’ans.  The Husband has actually read the Qur’an to better understand the war we’re fighting.  In fact, I don’t really know any of our military friends that haven’t read it.  They’re a peaceful people.  The reason The Husband leaves for months on end isn’t to fight Muslims, it’s to fight Taliban and Al Queda.  Plain and simple.

Undeterred, I pushed my way into the market.  I unjustly ignored all of the wonderful stands set up on the perimiter and headed for my favorite hawker.  I was greeted with a huge smile and a question… “Where’s The Man?  It’s too busy out here today for him not to carry your bags.”  I explained that he was working this weekend and I was on my own.  He picked a beautiful apple from a pile, polished it on his apron, kissed it and bowed to me while handing it over.  I picked through his large display, exchanged a few more pleasantries and off I went to Planters to stock up on spices.

Afterward, I headed to The Plaza to do some shopping at my favorite store.  There’s nothing like a MilWife looking like a chic hippie.  I love it! 

The drive home was long because my thoughts were lost on so many of my alone times.  There are times of desperation.  Times where the silence is so deafening that I can’t hear myself scream.  Times where I want to curl up in a ball and cry until everything is better again.  Like I said, being a MilWife you have lots and lots of time.  In the midst of all of my time are quiet moments where I learn to be comfortable in my own skin.  I walk out and do things I wouldn’t have done 10 years ago.  I wouldn’t have been brave enough to handle some of the things I’m forced to do.  Most of the time, however, I’m fine.  I have more days like Saturday than I do when I feel down and lonely.  It’s a curious thing we go though, us wives of devoted heros, we’re desperately lonely… but not.  The Husband lives in my heart each and every day.  He’s with me always.  No matter where in the world he is… I’m not lonely.  I have his love to comfort me and keep me sane.

Coming up later today: I’ve got an award from Prudy and I’m heading over to check it out!  Also, Dr. Deb at Smitten Kitchen taught me how to make perfect pancakes!

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One Comment leave one →
  1. echoesblog permalink
    July 30, 2008 14:09

    Hey, I saw the Ottmar Liebert mention and thought you’d like to know he’s got a great new album. The Scent of Light. CD of the Month on Echoes. http://www.echoes.org There’s a track that might relate to your situation, Silence, No More Longing.

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