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A Guy’s Kinda Girl

October 27, 2008

A Soldier’s Wife and I were exchanging emails a while ago and in doing so, I reminded myself of who I was before I married The Husband.  I’m a tomboy at heart, but somehow in the mechanics of my marriage I’ve become a lady.  

I’ve distanced myself from my guyfriends of years gone by.  I’ve never been a girl’s girl, but a guys girl through and through.  I’ve often found myself thinking of the petty silliness of females and not understanding.  Always the voice of reason for my guys, I’d be the foundation of reason, center of attention and the insta-friend to their girlfriends.  

Of course, The Husband was met with much contention.  I can’t repeat what my guys told The Husband when they met.  It’s crude, but very funny considering The Husband has the last laugh.

Out of respect to my marriage, I find myself trying to form more friendships with women than men.  Strangely enough, the women I’ve become closest to are older than me.  Two of my five close girlfriends from North Carolina are 12 and 15 years older than me.  The Lovely Co-Worker here in Kansas is 20 years older than me.  The other friends are “older” in their mentality.  The Columborican is my age, but speaks on a level far beyond her years.  The Left Arm is also my age, married to a man nine years her senior and also speaks well past her age.

I find myself missing friendships with men.  Men are simple.  They say, “I want to do XYZ” and I take them at their word.  There isn’t underlying content peeking out of the subtext of our conversation.  It’s out there in the open.  Sugarcoating: not required.

Often in the case of single airmen and soldiers that find themselves at my doorstep, I’d take them in and find a bond with them that reached beyond the confines of girlfriends.  Guys can handle the truth, they hear what’s being said and run with it.  I’ve dissected every guy friendship I’ve had, and have now.  There aren’t impure motives involved in these friendships, it’s who I’m comfortable with.  

Obviously, I’m an outspoken person.  As the years roll by I’ve learned to handle situations in various manners.  I adore and love each and every one of the (very few) girlfriends I’ve allowed into my life.  The girlfriends I have scattered across the globe are strong women, who, like me, have moments of insecurity and doubt, but have managed to grow beyond pettiness.  We have real conversations about real things.

I can hold my own in a conversation amongst guys, including the vile remarks that flow from the lips of the flightline plucked men.  I don’t demand that guys behave a certain way simply because there’s “a lady in the midst.”  They know I’m a lady, they know who I’m married to, my dedication to that man and our marriage.  I also know that a person would not be introduced to my life through The Husband that he didn’t deem a good guy.  

I’ve changed a lot since marrying The Husband.  The friendships I carry along in my own personal rucksack are precious to me.  One thing is certain, I will always be a guys kinda girl.

5 Comments leave one →
  1. October 27, 2008 10:01

    Girl that blog sounds like I wrote it. I always had guy friends.When hubby and I are around couples I usually end up chatting with the man.
    After moving from my home town it is very hard for me to hang with women. I do always have older friends..much more wisdom. Here all the young ladies are into plastic surgery and who can out wear each other. I am a mom, a nana and I love my home and cooking.

  2. October 27, 2008 12:01

    Having guy friends over the years I think has ultimately made me a better wife-I was given an insight into “guy think” that was priceless and I like to think I gave them insight into “girl think” that they found/find valuable too. Hey…I tagged you over at my blog with an award and a meme!

  3. October 27, 2008 23:15

    I generally hang with the guys too. Or I did. Now I just hang with the puppies. 😉

  4. October 28, 2008 20:31

    I love your writing. But that’s besides the point. I’m glad to have you as a buddy, even if it’s only virtually.

  5. October 28, 2008 23:02

    I am TOTALLY with you on this, sister!

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