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A Lifetime Movie

April 15, 2009

As a child I was never interested in Happily Ever After movies.  I’m just not wired that way.  I believe in true love, I believe in happiness… I believe they are both attainable, but life isn’t always sunshine and smiles.  I’m not against Happily Ever After movies, in fact, I find myself inexplicably drawn to them these days.  

I worry though, that too many people buy into the dramatic story of two people falling in love- then believe that real life will mirror a movie.  The truth is, life isn’t a Lifetime Movie.  Life is filled with passion of all sorts: tenderness, anger, jealousy… regardless of whatever form of passion fills your relationship, it’s there.  I won’t get into the poor aspects of anger and jealousy, that’s another story for another day.

Most women I know yearn for passionate tenderness in their life.  Lifetime is successful because the movies show tenderness between two people, fueling the fire for the romantics of the world.  Movies end with swelling music, tender looks and long kisses.  The end of the movie, however, is where life begins.  My mom is known for telling engaged couples, “If you make it through the wedding planning… the marriage is a piece of cake.”  I find the saying charming, but completely off base.  

Like a movie, planning a wedding is beautiful.  An engagement is almost living a fantasy where nothing bad seems to happen.  Life is filled with perfectly bloomed flowers, polished silver, beautiful bows and smiling faces.  The wedding begins and for the first and possibly the only time in your life… the music swells just for you.  The credits roll… the guests go home and what’s left is a blank space that is often shown in the darkest light. 

The truth is, marriage is not easy, it’s a lot of work.  Work can be fun and fulfilling or it can be tiring and defeating.  The real movie is in the every day.  The real test of love is in how you treat each other.  Time will tell the true story of love.  Did the couple protect their love?  Protect each other?  Show interest in the other’s life?  Does he speak love the way she needs to hear it?

Love is hope… that life is worth living.  Once love has manifested itself in two people’s hearts, it’s always there.  Even if you do wake up 30 years after you married him and wonder if love has left you.  

For now, there is love from a friend that believes in the power of you and him.  I also happen to believe in the power of prayer… and know there’s a plan for this.  Things are hard right now… lean on me.  I’m here for you always even though I never have the right words.  We can make our own Lifetime movie about the rebirth of your love.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. April 16, 2009 04:57

    Encouraging hugs & positive thoughts your way. 🙂

  2. April 16, 2009 17:39

    Love that your mom tells couples that. But I agree with you. The hard part is in the every day stuff. The silly stuff that ends up in fights, the money, the raising the kids…its in that you find out what you are made out of as a couple. The storms that come and go, if you weather them well TOGETHER. Support and communication are an EVERY day tool!! One of my favorite saying is “Takes Two To Make It, Takes Two To Break It, Takes Two To FIX It!”

    Love is hope & faith!! Prayer works! And you don’t always have to have the right words some times silence is golden! Listen & Love!

  3. April 17, 2009 16:38

    (Not-so-frequent lurker popping up … I’ve stopped by a couple of times)

    I would say that the main wrong conclusion that people can draw from these movies is thinking that the marriage is the happy ending.

    The premarital relationship is just the prologue, maybe the first chapter. The marriage is the real story. And like any story where you’re an actual participant, you don’t know how it will end until you get there.

    Once you realize that, then you can say that life is that kind of dramatic story — people in movies have their struggles, their passions, that’s what makes the story interesting. But the story encompasses all of life. Marriage cannot be a happy ending because it is not an ending at all.

    Just my two cents.

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