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The Reflection in the Mirror

July 14, 2009

The past few days I’ve spent a great deal of time reflecting on our lives together.  I started with the first interaction I had with you, followed the memory trail through our whirlwind romance to our wedding and then slowly reflected on the past 6 1/2 years of marriage.

Perhaps the reason I spent so much time in reflection is the impending separation coming at us like a freight train.  Perhaps I reflect on our time together because I feel cheated by the unavoidable time spent apart.  I feel like another year has passed so quickly that I can’t catch my breath.

I tried to tell you what I think of you, what my eyes see.  You laugh me off and dismiss my praise as something that doesn’t matter.  I have to feel that way, you say, I’m stuck with you for the rest of my life.  Well, my love, I consider it an honor to be stuck with you until we’re old and wrinkled.

You’re entering a situation that you consider a waste of your time.  A month of our lives is put on hold for you to go to training you received 9 years ago.  Month long training consisting of how to train new service members for war, something you’ve already participated in 3 times.  I understand your frustration.  I can’t tell you I know how you feel because the sacrifices you’ve made for this country are unique to yourself and your brothers in arm.  I’m just the woman waiting patiently for your return.

A few years ago when you had to attend NCO training, you learned many things about leadership and what the Air Force expects of you as a leader.  Of course, you cut your own path.  You choose to lead in your own way, not giving in to the good ‘ol boy system.  You lead by example, showing others how to troubleshoot, organize and get the job done right the first time using common sense and real analytical skills.

You’ve been such a good leader to your troops that they flock to you, even two years after leaving them to pursue your own dreams.  They call you to check in, see how things are going… make sure you’re coming back to them when this is all said and done.  You will always be an inspiring part of their life.  You make people proud to be who they are, give them inspiration to complete the mission and keep the morale up when there’s nothing left to be happy about.

I know there are thousands of things you don’t see in the mirror that I wish I could show you, bring your attention to… but you’ll never see yourself as anything more than a guy trying to do his job and love his wife.  No matter how many times I call you a hero, you blush and deny any such title.  You’re a hero to me, a hero to the people that work for you and a hero to the people you’ve yet to meet.  I’m lucky to be married to such a wonderful man.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. July 14, 2009 16:53

    Cat, your husband must love you to death. You are such a good wife to him. People that have never served their country could not begin to understand what you are going through.

  2. July 14, 2009 22:12

    What a beautiful post. I can feel that sense of dread you must be experiencing for your coming separation. Hang in there.

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